Of Boredom and Passing Notes
by GryffindorPrincess0894
Summary: The Marauders pass notes in class, but then a little bet between James and Sirius gets Lily roped into things. Full of hilarious comments, sexual innuendos, wrong ideas and of course, note passing!
1. Chapter One: History of Magic

**Just a little something me and my friend came up with. Baby-Summer-Gurl did James and I did Sirius. Enjoy.**

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Chapter One: History of Magic

**Sirius**

James

--

**Prongs? Oi Prongs****! You awake?**

What? (mumbles sleepily).

**Do you reckon Professor Binns even knows he has a class?**

Why would he? He's dead.

**Yeah good point. You reckon he would notice if we chuck something at him?**** (grins evilly)**

Nah, he'll probably just continue to bore us to death.

**Hehehe (throws quill through Binns). HE DIDN'T NOTICE!**

Told ya mate. He doesn't notice a thing.

**Try throwing something through him. It's fun.**

Ok! (throws ink bottle at Binns). Still doesn't notice a thing.

**This could turn into an interesting lesson…**

First one since… ever.

**I know aye. I can't believe we've had five years of school and we've never passed notes before (shakes head).**** It's shameful. **

Why didn't we? He wouldn't even notice if one of us dies (someone starts coughing uncontrollably in the front of the class room).

**I have no idea.**

Hey what do you reckon will happen if someone walks through him?

**I don't know. We should definitely put it on our list of things to try.**

**Prongs... oh Prongs... STOP LOOKING AT EVANS!**

Huh? What were you saying Padfoot?

**Mate you have got to get over her. You've asked her four times today already!**

Yeah, but eventually she will agree, I just know it. And today might be my lucky day…

**(Sighs) if you say so Prongs, but really I mean what is it like the 2,000th time?**

I know she likes me, I mean every girl likes me, but she just doesn't know it yet.

**No. Every girl likes me, that's why I have 9 dates this weekend (smirks).**

9 DATES!

**Yeah, impressive huh?**

I thought the girls were only using you to get to me, but hey, you can think what you want.

**You wish! Have you seen my silky smooth hair and my incredible good looks? They love it!**

They like messy hair better, and my buff body.

**Pfft, a) We're both on the Qidditch team and therefore we are both buff and b) Your hair is alright, you know, if the girls go for that I-just-got-up-in-the-morning-and-didn't-brush-my-hair look.**

But I'm buffer, and the ladies love that I-just-got-off-my-broom look. My hair looks better than yours ever could.

**YOU WISH! **

I don't wish, I know.

**I bet Lily would go out with me ten times before she would even consider you!**

Fine then, ask her. We'll see what she says.

**Fine then.**

(Back to voices)

"OI EVANS! GO OUT WITH ME OR POTTER?" he shouted across the room.

"DO I HAVE TO CHOOSE?" she asked.

"YES!" said James and Sirius together.

"FINE, I PICK… SIRIUS. BUT JUST ONE DATE!"

"Hahahahaha" laughed Sirius.

James looked shocked.

(Back on parchment)

**Told you so.**

You cheated.

**How!**

I don't know. You just did.

**Great comeback James! Don't worry I won't get frisky.**

DON'T YOU EVER TOUCH HER!

**Alright, alright, calm down. **

**Don't look at me like that.**

Like what?

**Like your about to kill me.**

Who said I wanted to kill you? I could just be planning something on Snivellus.

**Um Prongs, you do realise I got a date with the girl of your dreams in about two seconds, when you've been asking her for years right?**

Yeah but she could be using you to get info on me.

**You don't give up do you?**

Why would I give up? I mean, have you seen her? 

**Well maybe it's just because, oh I don't know, she hates you?**

The way she smiles?

The way she talks?

The way she walks?

**You're obsessed aren't you?**

I am not obsessed. I just notice things better than most people. That's why I'm a seeker and you're a beater.

**Oh really? What type of cereal does she eat?**

Count Chocula.

**And what's her favourite colour?**

Sapphire blue.

**Favourite magical creature?**

Hippogriff.

**What colour is her underwear today?**

How would I know that they're pink?

**I** **rest my case.**

Shut up.

**(Smirks)**

**Uh, James?**

Yeah Padfoot?

**You do realise that class finished five minutes ago and we're still writing on a piece of parchment, right?**

Shit!

**Exactly. Now let's get going before we're late for Transfiguration. We may be the top students in her class but we don't want McGonagall even more pissed at us.**

Yeah so let's go.

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**Please review! We would really like to know what you think.**


	2. Chapter Two: Charms

**Ok this time I did Sirius and Remus while Baby-Summer-Gurl did James and Peter. Hope you like it...**

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Chapter Two: Charms

**Sirius**

James

_Remus_

Peter

--

Moony what are we doing?

**That would be Charms my good friend.**

You're not Moony.

**Yes well Moony's too busy doing his work to care.**

_Not true!_

So true.

_I'm just doing my work, that doesn't mean I don't care._

How do we get this to work anyway? It's not turning out right for me.

_Well you start by turning your wand the right way around._

**O.o**

It is… isn't it?

**No Wormtail, the wand tip is meant to be facing the book, not your face.**

Oops.

_Yes well. Shush now._

What's wrong with you Moony?

**Is it that time of month again?**

Poor Moony…

_Stop calling it that! And no, it's not for another week and a half I'm just trying to work, so shush!_

**He's a bit sensitive today.**

Padfoot I think Moony needs some therapy…

**Yes I do agree with you there.**

_I definitely need therapy after six years with you two!_

What did we do?

What's wrong with-with Remus?

**Moony's just a little moody Wormtail, that's all.**

_(Sighs) never mind..._

But w-why?

**I don't know Wormtail just shut up!**

_If only you could take your own advice..._

Geez Padfoot who's got your knickers in a twist?

**Shut up, both of you.**

Oh but Padfoot its so much fun teasing you.

_Hehehe, too true._

**Moony aren't you meant to be RESPONSIBLE?!**

Moony what's wrong with Padfoot?

_He's a bit sulky right now._

Awww did Lily cancel on you Pads?

**(Smirks) actually the exact opposite, we figured out a date today.**

WHAT?!

_Wait huh? Padfoot?_

And you didn't tell me?!

_And Lily?_

**I was going to but I felt bad for you man.**

Bullshit.

_WHAT?!_

We had a bet, we wanted to see who Lily would rather date, me or Padfoot.

_Poor Lily, and I'm guessing she chose Pads?_

**Yep!**

Why did she pick Padfoot over you Prongs?

I don't bloody well know Wormy.

**Because I'm much better looking,**

**And smarter, **

**And funnier,**

**And buffer,**

**And sexier...**

Are not!

**Am too.**

She's only using you to get to me.

**Then why didn't she just accept you in the first place?**

She's playing hard to get.

**For six years?**

_Ok both of you SHUT UP!_

Yes she is!

…**?**

Okay then, really hard to get.

_(Sighs)_

**See, even Moony knows it's hopeless!**

It is not!

**Is too (sticks tongue out).**

_Very mature Padfoot…_

**Why thank you.**

James why don't you just give up on her?

Because- because it's Lily!

**And he's obsessed.**

I am not!

**Are too.**

Am not.

**We established this yesterday, you so are.**

Am not.

**Are too.**

Am not! I was just lucky yesterday.

_Guys! Get over it!_

No.

**No.**

_Fine then..._

Not until we agree that I'm not obsessed!

**What knickers is she wearing today?**

Why would I know that they're rainbow? I mean I don't know!

_(Looks disgusted) you know what colour they are?_

How?

It's a little thing called a shiny shoe (smirks).

**Bra?**

Blue and lacy.

_I don't even want to know how you know that…_

**Once again, I rest my case.**

Meanie…

**Soooooo, what's professor Flitwick on about now?**

Cheering charms, I think.

_Wormtail! It's an explosion charm!_

Ohhh right. Uh-oh…

BOOM!

**Well he's knocked out...**

(Back to voices)

"BLACK TAKE HIM TO THE HOSPITAL WING!" shouted Flitwick.

"Fine..."

"Sucker!" whispered James.

"But I'm gonna get a back injury from this" said Sirius as he began dragging Peter out of the room.

James was snickering quietly so Sirius thought of a little something to rile him up a bit.

"Hey Lily, Saturday don't forget" he said to her winking.

"Ok" she replied smiling.

"Egotistical bastard" muttered James viciously.

Sirius laughed quietly so that only James would hear.

(Back on parchment)

_Calm down Prongs…_

He started it.

_(Sighs) I know, I know but what are you gonna do? It's Padfoot._

Play a little prank (laughs evilly).

_Prongs? What's going on in that little brain of yours?_

Nothing, nothing at all… and my brains not little.

_Prongs..._

Only a little bit of revenge, just a tiny bit.

_Prongs..._

What?

_You know what. You are not going to sabotage that date!_

And why not?

_Because he got that date fair and square, it's not right to sabotage it!_

He didn't get it fair and square, he cheated.

_How?_

He made her say him.

_HOW?!_

The Imperius curse! Or- or a potion!

_James you know he wouldn't, not to mention couldn't, do an Unforgivable curse for something as stupid as a bet, and he's completely useless at Potions!_

Yes he could, well the curse anyway.

_How do you figure?_

Well think about it, his whole family is evil!

_That was mean Prongs. You know how ashamed he is about his past and blood._

I don't mean it like that…

_Yes you did._

I know, I'm sorry I guess I just overreacted. I just- I love Lily so much and I can't stand to see her with someone else, even my best friend - no - my brother.

_I know Prongs, I know. But he's just trying to look out for you._

Now how the hell do you figure that?

_I think that he thinks that if you think that Lily is definitely not interested then maybe you'll give up and spare yourself a lot of grief._

Wow. That actually made sense…

_Yes it did… now, what were you planning for Sirius? (grins evilly)._

I thought I wasn't allowed to do anything.

_Prongs both you and I know that the evening is probably going to end badly anyway and they definitely weren't meant to be together, and I think you might actually have a chance with her… but if you two don't end up together I don't want you to beat yourself up about it ok?_

Yeah ok... but I gotta say Moony I wasn't expecting you to agree with me on this one… (grins).

_Hey, people can surprise you. So on with the plan..._

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**Go on... click the button... you know you want to. :)**


	3. Chapter Three: DADA

**Yeah this one is a bit different but meh, hope you like it. James was done by Baby-Summer-Gurl, Sirius by me and Remus was done by both of us. **

**Also thank you to all those who reviewed so far, if I could I would give you all hugs and the Marauder of your choice for a weekend... ;) **

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Chapter Three: Defence Against the Dark Arts

**Sirius**

James

_Remus_

--

_Cough_ Moony _Cough_

**Huh?**

We're learning about werewolves idiot

**We are?**

Yes, and who do we know that's a werewolf?

**Oh! Rem-**

_Shut up!_

**Sorry**

Idiot...

**Why does everyone always call me an idiot? **

_Maybe because you are?_

**Moony you're so mean today**

Maybe it's that time of the month...

_Oh my God! Will you two stop making it sound like I'm a chick that's had a sex change?_

I thought we agreed on calling it your furry little problem

_I hate you both..._

No you don't Moony, you love us!

**And just because you go through some... changes every month doesn't mean we don't love you either **

_Gah! I give up..._

Pads, I think you've finally done it. You've caused Moony's brain to implode-

**What does implode mea- **

_(Remus chucks a dictionary at Sirius)_

**Never mind!**

Moony where'd you get a dictionary from?

_Nyahhh_

Well anyway... as I was saying, Padfoot you've finally caused Moony's brain to implode. Look at him! He's been banging his head on the desk repeatedly for the past ten minutes!

**Well I just have that effect on people**

You mean the effect of turning everyone around you completely insane?

**Exactly! Hey look! A pink and purple flying hippopotamus!**

What?!

_Padfoot are you insane? Or has your brain finally given up on you?_

**(Gasp) You insulted the pink and purple flying hippopotamus! You shall die!**

_Oh Merlin save me..._

And me...

**And me! Aha Moony your face looks funny!**

_Padfoot, for the love of Merlin's socks tell me who gave you the sugar so that I can go and strangle them!_

**Who says someone gave me sugar? I might have went and gotten it myself- oh crap, I shouldn't have said that...**

_You did WHAT?!_

**(Nervously) Hehe... so where's Prongs? **

_Oh he's talking to Lily_

**Ah, right well... more time for us to... do **_**stuff **_**(winks)**

_Hmm what did you have in mind exactly?_

**Oh you know... you and me. Bed. Handcuffs...**

_Oh I like where this is heading..._

"What are you boys doing?"

_Crap, hide the note, its Professor Grindear!_

**Why? It's not like there's anything bad on it **

_Padfoot! You do realise that we just wrote pretty much a whole page of sexual innuendos?_

**Oh shit! Hide the-**

(Voices)

A hand snatched the parchment between the two boys.

"What's this?" asked Professor Grindear.

"N-nothing Professor" said Remus.

"Really? Then you won't mind me reading it out to the class?"

Remus and Sirius shared a pained look as he began reading out what was written on the parchment.

"Oh he's talking to Lily. Ah, right well... more time for us to... do stuff (winks). Hmm what did you have in mind exactly? Oh you know... you and me. Bed. Handcuffs... Oh I like where this is heading..." the teacher raised an eyebrow at the two teens shocked faces.

"We were being sarcastic" mumbled Sirius embarrassed.

At that moment James burst the laughter he had been containing the entire time the teacher was reading out the note.

Sirius and Remus scowled at him and the rest of the class gave them weird looks.

"Boys can I talk to you after class?" asked Professor Grindear with a slightly amused look.

"Yes Professor" they answered simultaneously.

--

Remus barged into the marauders' dorm and began pacing furiously. James and Sirius followed cautiously behind.

"Argh! If I have to go one more day with people looking at me like that again I'm going to KILL you Sirius!" Remus yelled.

"Me?! What did I do?!" asked Sirius indignantly.

"This is all your fault" fumed Remus.

"What? If it's anyone's fault, it's Prongs'"

"Hey! What did I do? It's not my fault the entire school now thinks your flaming poofters" said James.

"You're the one that started the bloody note!" said Sirius.

"Yes but I didn't force you to start making sexual innuendos, now did I?"

Remus stopped pacing. "But doesn't everyone know we were just kidding?" he asked Remus desperately.

"No they don't because they don't know you as well as I do" said James.

"I hate it when you make sense" grumbled Remus.

"Really? I love it!" said James happily.

"C'mon Moony, you can't tell me you're seriously bothered by this" said Sirius.

"Yeah I mean just the _idea _of you and Sirius makes me want to laugh" added James.

Remus smiled, "Yeah I guess you're right"

"And you're lucky he didn't read out the part about werewolves" said James as an afterthought.

Sirius then began giggling furiously while the other two boys looked at him as if he had gone insane. Again.

Finally Sirius spoke, "I was just thinking... we would give a whole new meaning to 'puppy love'" he grinned as Remus and James began laughing too.

"Huh, I wonder what they're doing up there..." wondered a third year girl out loud after the giggling drifted down towards the common room.

"Trust me, you don't want to know..." replied Lily Evans.

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****

Please review! If not for me, then for the pink and purple flying hippopotamuses :D


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